Under his Spell
by Cybaster
Summary: With Telemain near the brink of death and Morwen slowly losing him, she begins to, inevitably, ask questions about what their marriage meant to her, and each other. Now includes the 'The Last Morning' Finale Module inside.
1. Under his Spell

_Disclaimer: I normally don't put the disclaimer first, but oh well. It's short, anyway. Everything, all the names, places and what-not, except for the Recalling Spell, the custom date system, and the Physician concept, belong to Patricia C. Wrede and Scholastic Books._

_Author's Note: Another longfic by me (*sigh*) and it's pretty sombre again (double *sigh*). I wrote this parallel to 'Blame', and again, you probably know what this fic is about by now, from the summary. Hopefully that helped. I promise I'll write something lighter next time. And before you say anything, yes, Morwen is my favorite character (Yay!) and no, I don't hate Telemain, even if you do (Ha!), so it's pretty hard to write. With all that set, I hope you'll enjoy this one as well, and here I go. I bring you..._

_Under his Spell_

* * *

_Moonday, 115th of the Year of Cathay_

I've been married to Telemain for four years now and knew him almost his entire life, and I knew that someday that his curiosity would someday get him in big trouble. But before, it was mostly because I wasn't there to stop him from doing anything rash; I'd never, ever thought that he would get into this much trouble because I was there.

It all began with a spell, as always. We were together, trying out a new Recalling Spell that Telemain had developed inside our cottage. Telemain was in his usual curious self, as he always had been long before we got married, and was very much excited about trying out the new spell. I knew the spell was powerful and dangerous, and I warned...rather, suggested that Telemain held back on testing it until we were more sure of the effects, but he was sure of himself and wouldn't listen to me. That silly man...greatest magical theoretician alive and he still wouldn't learn to listen to a fellow witch about stuff like this. His wife, yes, but still a witch.

His wife. Ever since we got married, we've spent most of our time together doing this --- researching spells. It's his true calling, I knew, and in a way I liked doing it, too. I just wished he wouldn't be so fanatical about it, especially around Cimorene every time we visit her! Every time we go to the castle and visit her and Mendanbar, Telemain ends up eventually getting sidetracked into a magical discourse on Mendanbar's magic. Twenty-two years, and he's still like this, like a spoiled little child. It's like he never tires of it, and he probably never does. Oh, well, at least I'm there to make sure he doesn't get too spoiled, or that's what I thought...

I wished he'd at least stop, or at least slow down for once to catch our breaths...

Now, all I'm wishing is that he's alright. Telemain wanted to test the spell on a rock we would transport elsewhere, and was very much busy getting things ready. I was, as usual, helping him arrange stuff around in the meantime --- you wouldn't believe how messy Telemain can get when he's really into his spells! The cats were prowling around, as usual, some purring around me, some looking onto everything, and others making disapproving meows at Telemain. Four years, and they still didn't like him...well, it's either him, or the idea of him being my husband. Four years. Who would've thought?

Either Telemain had been extra quick with his preparations or I've lost track of time, because before I knew it Telemain had already transported the rock away and we were halfway into casting the Recalling Spell. I remember that I tensed, although I've never really expected any of Telemain's spells to go awfully wrong, but I somehow had a niggling feeling that something else would happen. I still remember shivering with that feeling, and I remember unknowingly shifting away...

Telemain must've sensed my discomfort somehow because the moment the spell was cast, Telemain turned quickly to look at me with alarm and something terrible had indeed gone wrong --- I knew that when the flames in the fireplace had suddenly rose up with the Recalling Spell in one, long ribbon and began flying very quickly towards me. Somehow I was stunned and I nearly panicked...I must've broken the spell's concentration and stunned myself in the process, then all of a sudden something pushed me aside before the flame hit me. The cats flocked to my side when I hit the ground, and when I found myself able to move again, I turned to see how Telemain was doing...

...And I saw the flame hit him. I hoped hard that nothing would happen otherwise as if I had a say in it, then Telemain stiffened painfully and my hopes were dashed.

He fell to the floor in a heap. I panicked. Me and the cats went immediately to see if he was alright, and for awhile I thought that he was. Some of the cats frowned. Telemain was still in that feisty, enthusiastic mood of his when I went to him and didn't seem to be hurt badly at all...his skin had more of a reddish-orange color than usual, but that was it. He was back at discussing what had happened to us right away, just like he always did, and although he didn't seem hurt I wasn't going to let him continue on for long --- backfired spells are no laughing matter and I wanted to be sure.

I helped Telemain onto the bed and brought out some healing, just in case...even then he was still discussing the spell with me like he always did, and I decided to leave him alone for awhile before he gets the idea to jump back up and start tinkering around with it again. I had the cats watch over him in the meantime --- something which the cats didn't want to do and was direct enough to let me know it --- so Telemain could actually rest.

And yet, I couldn't help but feel responsible, and guilty, for what's happened to Telemain. I knew I made this happen, at least indirectly. I broke concentration and I fouled up the Recalling Spell, and Telemain had this happen to him to save me. The flames were meant for me, and should've hit me instead...If it did I would've at least felt better than I am now, but it found Telemain and I desperately hope that nothing else would end up happening to him because of me. Telemain seemed alright, but somehow I knew better and I didn't want to admit it.

I'm going to keep a careful eye on Telemain over the next few days until I'm sure he's perfectly fine. It's not that I haven't been doing that before, but now I have to be even more cautious of his condition. If any illness develops I'm going to heal it and if something happens to Telemain, I'm going to be right there for him.

I'll write back tomorrow. I hope he'll be alright...

_Earthday, 117th of the Year of Cathay_

It seems I was right to be so cautious...

Telemain had fallen ill, and I didn't need to be a witch to see that it was serious --- for one thing Telemain was completely quiet and seemed to have little energy to discuss anything, which says something in itself. The flames that had hit Telemain two days ago seem to be finally reacting to him, and now Telemain has what must be the worst case of fever I had ever seen in my entire life. When I took my first look at him, I gasped; Telemain's skin had turned into a deeper shade of red, as if his entire body was burning from the inside. With that bad a fever, Telemain seemed to be deliriously muttering something to himself; I couldn't make out what he said, and although I could've asked my cats to do so I didn't really care about that...I knew I had to do something, and quickly.

I broke out whatever I could do in healing in the hopes that I can stabilize him, and it didn't seem to have too much impact, although even as I write this Telemain is sleeping better and he seemed to have recovered some pink in his skin. Since the cats are tired and don't like staying up late --- especially Quiz, who tends to get very grumpy when kept up nights --- I decided to stay beside Telemain instead. I'm still going to keep a sharp watch: he seems better now, but I seriously doubt that Telemain is remotely close to well even after all the healing I gave him.

The only good thing that could possibly come of this is that Telemain was actually quiet for the whole day, so our cottage was actually silent today, which hadn't happened, well, since me and Telemain got married.

Otherwise, I know this isn't over yet...best I readied myself, I guess. I'll write back where there's any change in his condition.

_Waterday, 120th of the Year of Cathay_

My guess is that Telemain is getting better in at least some way, because although he still has a bad fever and his skin is still pretty much red (although a bit lighter than before, now), he's actually talking coherently now, and with me enough to annoy the cats again, who were making their usual annoyed meows. I'm still not relaxing yet, but I'm beginning to feel a bit better inside than before when the accident happened. Seeing that Telemain is actually recovering, for once, was a relief and made me feel less guilty for him.

And I couldn't believe it at first, but the first thing Telemain talked to me about was trying to tell me that he's fine and that I should let him up! That silly man! The nerve to tell me that he's fine when I can see that he's still very weak from fever and after I spent the last three days healing and worrying about him! Maybe he is feeling a bit better, that Telemain, but I know he's still feeling sick. He's doing that to try to cheer me up a bit, though, and I really appreciated it...underneath all that abrasiveness, Telemain does have his lovable days...

Eventually I managed to sidetrack Telemain away from trying to persuade me into a discussion of what had happened to us five days ago, when the spell backfired. "The initial targeting focus had been broken by internal mind processings which caused an accidental redirection of the spell's direction and identification calculations, causing an external object to suffer the effects of the spell and the object to physically shift and recall itself towards the caster" was Telemain's exact words; I'd settle for "thinking something else during the spell caused an alternate object to be affected by the recall and fly towards us". I nevertheless felt guilty knowing that once again I had caused the backfire but talking to Telemain about it like that wasn't as bad as I thought.

Now, I have to listen to his discourses on magic again! It cheered him up and distracted me from his condition for awhile, but nevertheless it was somewhat annoying to hear Telemain get technical again (the cats ran out of the room midway throughout our conversation and Quiz frowned angrily at him before he left). It wasn't exactly productive, but it showed me that Telemain wanted to recover, and that helped me a bit, too.

As I finish for today, I look at Telemain and I see him sleeping more comfortably than before. I think that he'll be fine in some time, but part of me is still hoping for this, and I'll still be prepared...

_Sunday, 123rd of the Year of Cathay_

When things were beginning to look alright again for the past three days, Telemain's condition suddenly took a turn for the worst...I don't know for sure what had happened yet but something broke in him, and his fever had broken out even worse than before. He's no longer talking anymore, and his skin is more red now, like before. He's back to muttering. Even with all the windows open to the spring breeze Telemain's sweating a lot, and I'm afraid that this time I might not be able to do anything. I could only hope.

Between trying to heal Telemain constantly, I did all I could to find out what was happening to him, hoping that once I knew I would be able to do something about it directly. After the day's efforts, sadly, the healing hadn't taken significant effect and I still couldn't find out what was going on. I worried even more for Telemain's well-being, which I never found myself having to do before and it felt terrible, but at the same time I think I began to feel something worse --- I was suddenly afraid of losing him, suddenly thinking of the probability of living the rest of my life without Telemain. It seemed awfully possible now and I didn't want things to be that way.

I wanted Telemain back, and I'd do anything possible to get him back. Although it's only been recently that I have had to resolve and think on this, I knew that if Telemain was even in this much trouble before, I would've done that as well. I'm beginning to really understand how Cimorene felt when she and Mendanbar were forcefully separated those twenty-one years ago...she must've really been worried about him, and now, I'm really worried about Telemain, too...

Speaking of which, I've talked to Kazul and Cimorene about Telemain's condition earlier this afternoon and they promised to look into this right away. I'm ever thankful for their help, and I'm glad that even during these times I have friends that I could depend on. I'm sure together we'd find something to help Telemain...but I'm still not very optimistic about it; it's not that I don't want to think good, but I'm finding doing that more and more difficult. And until I'm sure he's fine...

_Earthday, 124th of the Year of Cathay_

For the first time in perhaps a year, everyone finally got together again. Thanks to Mendanbar's advanced transportation spell he, Cimorene and Daystar got here early this morning, and Kazul came here a bit later this afternoon (admittedly, Kazul's beginning to get old although she probably wouldn't admit it outright). Although everyone was pretty sober, they certainly looked more energetic than I did; I guessed I've worn myself out lately caring for Telemain and I haven't slept much. To them, I've probably aged another four or five years. It's a good thing they didn't mind how tired I looked --- it meant that they understood how terrible I'm feeling...

It was probably a surprise to them, nevertheless, that Telemain even needed help on magical matters like this. After all, he was a master magic theoretician and never seemed to have needed help before, especially with that curious, enthusiastic personality of his. Telemain's still human, though, and they know that.

Although most of our time was spent looking at Telemain, we did otherwise talk quite a bit and I liked the distraction. Daystar and Shiara, Kazul's Princess, haven't been officially a couple yet, but we all knew that with how friendly they've been to each other lately it's only a matter of time (Daystar blushed the whole time we were talking about that; a bit shy about Shiara still, aren't we, Daystar?) --- the next time she's at the castle, something will probably (hopefully) develop. Things were beginning to quiet down in the Enchanted Forest, as the remnants of the Society of Wizards were being efficiently 'weeded out' by the Dragons and much of the fighting between the Silverstaff elves and the other elven tribes were winding down, thanks to Mendanbar's efforts and peaceful negotiating. On less serious notes, Kazul's grandchildren were due to visit the Enchanted Forest sometime soon again, and we could be expecting quite some mischief from them! Let's hope they don't eating something magical and end up enchanted...I still remember a certain rabbit who did...

Caring for Telemain has given me a lot of pressure, and talking to them like this helped...it's nice to see that they're well and it's nice to be thinking of anything else but Telemain and the prospect of losing him. A bit better...but not by much. I'm still afraid, but I guess I'm coping with this better now. And it was undoubtedly nice to taste some of Cimorene's cooking again, especially Kazul's favorite Cherries Jubilee, and know that being Queen hadn't dampened her cooking skills.

The day passed, though, and nothing seemed to make a difference to Telemain's condition, and as I write this I was beginning to worry again. We cast spells on him without any known effects, and the variety of healing herbs and potions hadn't served to reduce the fever. Even Mendanbar's Enchanted Forest magic, probably the most powerful among us, hadn't made a difference. At least Telemain won't grow any worse, though, and we've at least gotten some sort of idea on what was happening in him, although not completely.

Hopefully, by tomorrow, we'll know for sure.

_Fireday, 125th of the Year of Cathay_

We've finally figured out what was going on, and now that we did I'm beginning to think positively again about Telemain's condition. What was surprising about it, though, was that seeing Telemain like this turned out to be the proof to himself that the Recalling Spell was working even more perfectly than either of us had expected.

It turned out that the Recalling Spell had still been working all this time, and it's hurting Telemain in the process. It was the magical energy from the flames that was causing Telemain to be ill; the heat of the fire, combined with the energy of the Recalling Spell, was reacting with his body to cause the fever and internal rupturing, and the Recalling Spell had been preventing healing by directing most of the healing spells and potions elsewhere. And to make it worse, the Recalling Spell had been siphoning off the magical energy it needs to maintain itself directly from Telemain's body, which accounts for his apparent lack of energy and why Telemain's insides hadn't been 'recalled' elsewhere (at least that's a relief).

So it looks like the Recalling Spell me and Telemain had been developing worked...But at the same time I know this variant of the spell would make a terrible attack spell. It's a good thing I'm not about to let Telemain ever try this again...if he recovers...

That wasn't the end of it, although now we know what's going on: while we could remedy the Recalling Spell, we'd need to cut its energy drain...and to do that we'd stand a good chance of cutting his life force with him...which meant that we could possibly kill Telemain trying to heal him. I know this is a chance we have to take, because there isn't much we could do for him otherwise, but inside I'm still a bit torn apart...Telemain would surely die if the illness goes on much longer, but we stood a good chance of killing him as well if we did. I have to try my best, but I don't want to be responsible for something bad happening to Telemain again. But Cimorene and the others will, of course, be working with me, and I'd like to believe that together, we can make this right.

Better get to it, then. I won't write anything else in here for the next few days until I see this through...it's getting harder and harder to write things in here because it's beginning to hurt more...but Cimorene did suggest that I kept the diary a few years back to let out my feelings, and she's right, so I'll take this up again. Wish me luck, diary.

_Moonday, 129th of the Year of Cathay_

Four days...Over those four days, I finally feel as if my heart has finally shattered...as I finally realize that what I had come to fear was now inevitable.

Telemain's leaving me forever...This, sadly, we're sure about. All our efforts hadn't worked to dispel the Recalling Spell as we had tried to do, and we all realized that by now the Recalling Spell had drained so much of Telemain's energy that there was nothing more we could do for him without surely killing him. Mendanbar had taken the guess that Telemain would die in a day or two at most...It takes the Recalling Spell that much time to drain whatever was left of Telemain's life energy, and I guess that I have that much time to say goodbye to him...

Everyone spent today at Telemain's bedside, probably to get their last glimpse of him and to console me. Everyone...even Kazul, who was usually cheery...was in a sombre mood at the prospect of bidding farewell to him, but nobody cried, not even me, as much as I wanted to as if that would bring Telemain back --- we promised each other that we wouldn't. Not yet. Cimorene, a good friend as always, was otherwise trying to persuade me that hope hadn't been lost yet, offering other solutions, but we both knew better, and although we wanted to believe we certainly couldn't. And as always, I'm grateful for her trying to give me what hope was left.

She even suggested getting a physician --- the 'Magic Killer' of the Enchanted Forest, but an extremely good healer otherwise --- from her home kingdom of Linderwall (which further dampened my hopes, actually; Cimorene would never, ever ask anything from Linderwall if it wasn't remotely critically serious enough) to look at Telemain, but I couldn't possibly do that! A physician was the bane of all witches, magicians, and even wizards since whoever a physician looks at, whether he heals the person or not, loses their magical powers. Telemain was dying...but magic had been his entire life, and knowing him that well, as his wife, I couldn't take that away from him even now...He'd never forgive me if I did.

But am I doing the right thing for Telemain in not calling a physician? Would saving his life be more important than keeping his dreams alive?

Tonight, we had dinner together, probably the very last time we'll do so with Telemain. All of us were still sad and by then we were trying very hard not to cry, but at the same time we intended to make the best of it...since it was the last time, we wanted it to be a happy memory, as well. We talked again, Kazul telling us various tales of mischief about her grandchildren and we laughed a few times as if this didn't happen. It felt good talking like this again, and I desperately didn't want dinner to end tonight...probably because ending it would be a sure sign that the content life I had lived with Telemain would no longer be the same again. But it had to end, and with reluctance I saw everyone leave afterwards.

Before she, Mendanbar and Daystar left, Cimorene promised me that things would be alright again given some time. I had never doubted her on things like this before, but now I was asking questions in my mind. Would my life ever be alright again without Telemain? Could it ever be the same way it was before?

_Sunday, 130th of the Year of Cathay_

I knew that what little of my time with Telemain was drawing short by today, so when I woke up from what little sleep I ended up getting, I was resolved to spend it by his side. I spent the entire day looking at him while he was still breathing and remembering the times we had together throughout my life, feeling happy for awhile as I remembered something nice and then feeling sad again knowing that I would never go through that with him ever again. When I did so, I realized to my regret that the time I had spent with him being happy together --- other than researching spells --- was entirely too short...I really miss Telemain now, and all the more I didn't want him to leave me...

I locked the door to our room as not to let the cats in, and for the day they made disapproving meows again, as usual, but this time begging me to let them in to see Telemain for the last time. They obviously didn't want him to die, either...the time I was married to Telemain, I had always thought that the cats didn't like him or that they didn't like the idea of me being married to him, but now I think that I finally know what exactly they didn't like about me marrying him. I think they understood what I was beginning to see now long before I was engaged to him. I let them in later today, and they literally fawned over him as some apology for how they had treated them in the past. Some were on the verge of crying themselves. Neither of us minded, though...it no longer mattered...

Telemain was muttering once again by sunset, and since the cats were around then, and we were alone in the cottage, I asked the cats to tell me what Telemain was muttering. Somehow, I suddenly had to know, as if it could be important. As it turned out...it was to me. Most of Telemain's muttering, as the cats had taken turns to tell me, was about magic --- every single spell that he had known in his life that was worth mentioning, as it turned out --- and magical happenings he had seen. Others were words spoken to our friends...Kazul, Mendanbar, Brandel the fire-witch, Daystar, Shiara, Cimorene, our other friends that we grew up with...but a good bit of Telemain's muttering was about me, to me, and it was then that I felt my love for him grow...and my heart break even more, at the same time.

He had told me in his mutterings that he had indeed cared for me over the years, and that he was sorry for not spending time with me to be happy together...When Cass told me Telemain said that, I was stunned. Even though we've been married for four years, I've never imagined Telemain would ever, ever mellow down enough to tell me that he loved me...he always seemed so sure of himself and abrasive before, and a bit too stubborn at times, to even think about telling me anything about how he had truly felt. I guess I was merely content with his company to not need to hear him and, at the same time, I didn't think anything of it. When I heard that, I knew all of a sudden that I had been lucky all along to have him; I held his hand, shaking, wanting to tell him those same words and desperately wishing that he would hear me...

Perhaps it was a miracle, or somebody's powerful magic to console me, but Telemain finally woke up by nightfall and when he did, I was still sitting by him. I skipped dinner tonight; we talked to each other, catching up on the past few days and...perhaps...saying our last goodbyes, because we both knew that what remained of our time together, as husband and wife, was very short by now. If we didn't tell each other how we felt while we were still alive and together, we wouldn't get that chance again by morning. The longer we did so, though, the more I grieved losing him, and by the time it was almost midnight the pain was so great that I let myself go and did what me, Cimorene and the others promised not to do yesterday --- I cried.

I cried only a few times throughout my entire life as far as I remembered --- I rarely found myself having to because I was a witch; even as a child, I was mostly confident that whatever problems faced me I could always find a way to solve it or the appropriate spell to get rid of it. Of course, there was a problem or two in my life which I found that I couldn't find the solution to occasionally, and when I did cry, I looked and felt terrible to both me and the others around me. This was certainly one of those moments: I cried then, and I didn't care about how terrible I looked or the fact that crying never solved anything.

Telemain must've either shared my feelings or saw how terrible I looked as I cried, or both, because the next moment he had lifted himself slightly --- either he did that, or I was seeing things with all my tears --- and had taken my hands into his, telling me gently, weakly, not to cry because everything will be alright again for me even after he was gone. I completely didn't expect that, but I didn't resist --- it didn't matter, and I didn't mind, although he hadn't taken my hands like that since our wedding four years ago and the gentle tone that he used was a far cry from what was usually expected from Telemain. Of course, I didn't believe his words...how would everything be alright again after Telemain's left me like this? But something in his gentle tone...something...made me believe that he truly did care for me and that me crying was making him sad, as well, and his touch hadn't felt that good in a long, long time. Under his touch and his words, his spell of love, I eventually calmed down and forced a smile onto my lips for him, and he smiled back. We savored the moment, since we were never going to smile like that to each other again. The cats probably felt that we were being very mushy and were surprised as well at how we're behaving now, but if they felt that they didn't say a word. I silently thanked the cats for their understanding, because now, even if it was out of sheer courtesy for me, I know that they've finally accepted the present fact that we've married for the right reasons. And by now, I was really sure that we have, too.

I write this because I didn't want to sleep, although it is getting very late...I was afraid still that if I had slept, Telemain wouldn't be there anymore the next morning. Now, I still sit beside his bed and although Telemain himself had slept rather peacefully --- much more peacefully and painlessly than before --- I was contenting myself with hearing him breathing, and snoring, and knowing that he was still here with me that very second. I was much more prepared for his passing by now than I was before, but a deep part of me still didn't want him to leave just yet. His leaving was inevitable, but I was resolved to remain awake for him to see him off when he did. This diary will serve to reinforce what I had felt for Telemain during the past few days when he was near the brink of death, and how I will still feel about him in the future, my future, because I will always remember Telemain, and I will always remember that I did, and still, love him. My memories of him…will always have me under his spell.

* * *

_Afterword: Sounds sombre? Corny? Touching? Stupid? You tell me which, and once again, I'm sorry if you didn't enjoy it. I apologize for the length, too...it seems I can never write small again. A side note on the dates, though; the Year of Cathay is something I came up with (The Cathayan Empire is mentioned twice, in Dealing with Dragons and Calling on Dragons) since I'm not sure if the Enchanted Forest world goes along with our normal year --- never seen that mentioned if it did, and the order of *this* days of the week is this, starting with 'Monday': Earthday, Fireday, Windday, Waterday, Cloudday, Moonday, Sunday. With all that aside, I hope that you read it and enjoyed it, if nothing else, and do give some constructive criticism before you leave by filling out the box below, please! I'd appreciate the feedback!_


	2. Under his Spell: the Last Morning

# Under his Spell: the Last Morning

## By Cybaster

***

Author's Note: _Don't know why I ended up writing this, but I somehow felt that there had to be more to 'Under his Spell'. Somehow, I felt that there should've been an ending piece to it to, well, to put it as non-depressingly as possible, 'wrap it up'. Well, the 'trigger' for this, I guess, is watching 'Armageddon' again and hearing Aerosmith's ending song...and feeling the song was oddly appropriate for the general story, so here it is. The 'The Last Morning' module takes place right at the end of 'Under his Spell', after where Morwen's diary left off; might wanna read it first, if you haven't already, to see if you can stand it...=(_

_ _

_Again, a word of warning: may be kinda fluffy at the start, but it does get pretty (make that *very*...) sombre at the end. Sorry. Still, hope you manage to enjoy it...and blame my inexperienced muse, whatever form it took, for trying to write a full-fledged songfic. ("Down, Willy! Down!" =) And do give me feedback, okay? Pretty please?_

_ _

--Cybaster

"Believe in the Sign of Zeta!!!"

Disclaimer: _Morwen, Telemain and the Enchanted Forest world are created by Patricia C. Wrede and Scholastic Books. The song used for this story is 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing' by Aerosmith, and can be found in the 'Armageddon' soundtrack._

***

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathin'_

## Watch you smile while you are sleepin'

_While you're faraway and dreamin'..._

With a weak yet very much content smile, Telemain finally fell asleep and resigned his voice to the night outside his room. Despite the burning redness of his skin and the feverish heat his body seemed to give off, his slumber seemed peaceful enough and bore neither the sign of the suffering he had felt the days before nor the nightmares that plagued him at the nights that followed. In fact, his dreams seemed almost pleasant; looking from his bedside, Telemain didn't look like a person who was about to die and had only this last night in the world he lived in. In fact, contrary to most, the house in which he lived with his wife, Morwen, didn't bear the gloomy, grieving aura about it as was supposed to for such a case.

But Telemain was dying, and this _would be his last morning to live. And Morwen, who sat loyally by his bedside, knew that to be true. She had known Telemain was sick the moment he became sick, fought to save him, and stayed by his side all that time to do what she could. All were to no avail, and she was going to lose him. She wasn't going to merely let Telemain leave her, however; She was at least going to stay by him, awake for the man she had known throughout her life and married out of love, and when the time came Morwen was going to say goodbye to him._

Morwen hadn't slept much at all in the past few days, either trying to save him or come to terms with his imminent passing. Save him she didn't; she did manage to do the latter, though, and realized exactly that she married Telemain for the right reasons. She missed him dearly and felt sad for her loss, but although they've been married for four years, it was only recently that Morwen really began to question why exactly she married him, and it was only that night that she was sure of the reasons. She had indeed loved him, and she had cried for him. And because of that love, Morwen wasn't about to leave Telemain before his time, and would presevere.

She hadn't slept much and she felt immensely tired, but Morwen somehow kept awake, finding the strength somewhere within her to stay up. Her fatigue meant nothing to her anymore, at least for that night alone. All that mattered was staying by Telemain. Morwen held his hand tightly, as if to guide him to his last morning so he wouldn't get lost, and she looked upon him as if she was only bidding farewell to Telemain for leaving on a trip. She would do that, even though the truth was far from that.

## I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

_I could stay lost in this moment_

_Forever..._

_Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure..._

Morwen wished that time would stop now, although if it could stop she would've stopped it a long time ago. If it did, Telemain would never leave her, and then for perhaps all eternity they would be together again and all would be well again. She wanted to believe it, but she knew it was ludicrous at best --- time never stopped for anyone. And Telemain's was running out soon. While she still had the time, Morwen would savour it and Telemain being there beside her while he still was. It was the only thing she could do now, and it was the only thing she would.

If only Morwen had done that then, it would've made this day a little easier...but Morwen knew already that it was much too late for wishful thinking.

## Don't wanna close my eyes

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_'Cause I'd miss you, baby,_

## And I don't wanna miss a thing

## 'Cause even when I dream of you

_The sweetest dream would never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby,_

_And I don't wanna miss a thing..._

There would never be another Telemain, Morwen resigned to herself. She would never grow up with him like she did before, fight alongside him, marry him. Fall in love with him. When Telemain finally left, Morwen would be alone. She would never feel for anybody else what she had felt for Telemain ever again, much less in the same way. After Telemain died, Morwen would always miss him, no matter what happens, and she would always blame herself for not treasuring what she shared with Telemain until it was too late for either of them when the day she would look back on this day and cry again would come.

Morwen's body began to ache from sitting in the same seat for the entire day, and unable to think of anything else _but Telemain she dully ignored it. The greater pain of losing him may leave her in time, be softened by staying there for him, but Morwen would never forget Telemain. She would always love him at least a bit._

## Lyin' close to you, feelin' your heart beatin'

_And I'm wonderin' what you're dreamin'_

## Wonderin' if it's me you're seein'?

Finally unable to sit upright any longer, Morwen bent down sideways and placed her head on Telemain's chest, her eyes a bit watery and her ginger hair messy, looking wistfully at the sleeping Telemain behind her glasses. There she could feel his heartbeat and hear him breathe; he had long stopped snoring, perhaps out of energy to even do that, and she could feel both slowly weaken away, like the fluttering wings of a dying bird. And yet Telemain still managed to look serene in his slumber, and Morwen sighed. 

## Then I kiss your eyes, and thank God we're together

_I just wanna stay with you_

_In this moment forever,_

_Forever and ever..._

Is Telemain even dreaming anymore? And if he is, did he dream of her? It didn't matter to Morwen, as long as it didn't disturb his last morning by her side. All their past adventures and in their past youths she had always had to take care of Telemain --- or bail him out of embarassing situations --- more than once in a while now. Telemain's own well-being had always mattered to her, and Morwen liked making sure he didn't get into trouble. In fact, she vowed to do that when they got married. All of the past memories were going to naught now, but Morwen felt now that they were worth it. She would've married no other man, since she had the choice.

## Don't wanna close my eyes

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_'Cause I'd miss you, baby,_

## And I don't wanna miss a thing

## 'Cause even when I dream of you

_The sweetest dream would never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby,_

_And I don't wanna miss a thing..._

Her grip on Telemain tightened even more. Morwen had accepted the fact of his imminent passing, but a part of her still wished it didn't have to happen, and she certainly wasn't cheering for it, either. It was still difficult to let him go. It still hurt her to think of living her life without him. But she didn't have a choice.

A few stray strands of light began flying through the window, and Morwen's heart nearly stopped. It was morning.

## I don't wanna miss one smile

_I don't wanna miss one kiss_

_I just wanna be with you, right here with you,_

## Just like this

_ _

It was morning. To Morwen, it meant that Telemain was finally leaving. The morning came, and Morwen wished it didn't, as if her willpower alone would force the sun back down. But more and more light shone on them, and Morwen began to feel desperate, all previous preparation for this moment having been forgotten completely. Her whole body shivered, and it took Morwen tremendous effort to hold back either from sleeping or from shedding her tears again. In vain, Morwen tried to recompose herself, to remain calm, but it took more and more mental effort as the fear of losing Telemain came back to her full scale.

And it was then that Telemain's eyes slowly fluttered open.

_ _

_I just wanna hold you close_

_And feel your heart so close to mine,_

_And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time..._

Telemain was awake and alive still, but he might as well had not been. In contrast to the bright red he had exhibited over the past few days he was now deathly pale and his body growing cold despite the amount of sweat he had built up on his forehead from this morning and last night. His body, too, was shaking, as if it was taking him whatever he had left to even stay focused on Morwen, and while his eyes still seemed only a bit vibrant, their gaze lost the usually inquisitive and sometimes imposing look he had. Seeing Telemain awake, Morwen then remembered what she had promised to do and her calm managed to forcefully return. She stood there, eyes focused intently on her husband, having lots to tell him and not nearly enough time.

"Good...morning, d...darling." Telemain whispered, although no words could be heard.

## Don't wanna close my eyes

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_'Cause I'd miss you, baby,_

## And I don't wanna miss a thing...

Morwen heard the words perfectly, and gave Telemain a small wry, forced smile in return. It was time, Morwen knew too well, and soon they would part. But for Telemain in his last moments, she would remain calm for him. Finding the remaining strength, Morwen leaned forward a bit more and without another word, they melted into a long overdue kiss. "Good morning, Telemain. I'm here now." Morwen whispered.

## 'Cause even when I dream of you

_The sweetest dream would never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby,_

_And I don't wanna miss a thing..._

_ _

It wasn't their first kiss, by any means, but it was certainly the last. As Morwen and Telemain relished in the kiss, Telemain's heart finally stopped and he felt nothing anymore. Morwen pulled away from the unfinished kiss and struggled with her sadness. Tears flowed freely out of her eyes.

Telemain had finally left her.

## Don't wanna close my eyes

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_'Cause I'd miss you, baby,_

## And I don't wanna miss a thing

## 'Cause even when I dream of you

_The sweetest dream would never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby,_

_And I don't wanna miss a thing..._

"...Goodbye, beloved."

And with that farewell, Morwen slowly fell back onto Telemain's body and sobbed her grief.

## Don't wanna close my eyes

_I don't wanna fall asleep_

_'Cause I'd miss you, baby,_

_And I don't wanna miss a thing..._

On the last morning that Telemain lived, Morwen cried herself to sleep.

***

Afterword: _...Waaahhh! Someone kill me if I'm being too depressing, okay? If you didn't like it, my sincere apologies...I'm not psycho or anything (hopefully!), and I don't mean anything, and this is just a story, and I won't be touching on it again (thankfully!), and...you get the idea, right? Well...time to write something at least a bit happier, I guess, so when I do put another story up, hopefully it's more cheerful. Gomen, and hope those of you who got here actually liked it, and goodnight!_


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